TRIBUTE FROM CHILDREN
AND
GRAND CHILDREN
Chief Solo Anosikeh (Omekannaya 1 of Umungasi Aba)
Father extraordinaire has left his first daughter, Nwanyieze. My hero has left me and I deeply mourn for this remarkable human being’s passing. I was told that when my parents continued producing boys, there was anticipation for a girl to come but to no avail. But at the eve of my father’s chiefaincy title, another birth was due to happen. Surprise! Surprise! the girl came and father named her Nwanyieze, meaning “born during chieftaincy title.” There after, Dad showered me with unbelievable love and affection. Even though other sisters came along, the affection continued until he left us.
The question is “How did this man interact with his environment when he was alive”?
When I was young, I saw him working hard not only for his immediate family but for every one around him and beyond. Every child in our neighborhood who was intelligent was encouraged to worry not about the school fees but worry about passing his or her examinations. It is astonishing how many people this man sponsored their education overseas. God gave him wealth and he invested it in people. Regarding his physical environment, he never tolerated pollution and insisted on cleanliness. This man never took from the under privileged but fought on their behalf. He never gave up and as a result people became aware not to mess with “WAR” as he was fondly called.
Inspite of his strictness and discipline, he loved his wife and our mother was there for him in support of the family while he was away on business travels. He was very protective of his children, which is very impressive. When he visited me in Washington, DC, about five years ago, he scheduled to stay with us for two weeks being a man in a hurry, but for some reason, he got along well with my husband and they always talked politics and he extended his stay for one month. They became good pals. Dad brought me good luck at that time because it was during his visit that God blessed me and my spouse with our daughter.
Indeed, I will always miss you, Daddy. My solace is that you left us peacefully after accomplishing your duty on earth. I pray for you, daddy that your soul rest in peace and may you be admitted by our Lord in his kingdom as one of those who executed their stewardship on earth with such finesse. Twenty one gun salute to you, my hero!
Adieu, papa until me meet again, It’s your first daughter, Nwanyieze Nkiruka Ibenana.
For those who have experienced loss, there isn't much you can do except remember the good times and carry that person's spirit in your heart. I don’t think I would want to re-live the pain of knowing my father was sick, that he could die. In the end, I am relieved that he died, without a huge amount of pain. That he died on his terms, peacefully. I've heard people say that they were prepared, but what I've learned from this is that you are never prepared to loose a parent no matter how old they are, because there is an unbelievable pain that goes with knowing that someone you love is dead. I now believe that the loss of a parent is the most traumatic event. It’s something that is un-measurable with almost anything else.
This past Thursday, October 26, 2006 my worst fear came true. I woke up around 3am sweating. Usually when I wake up in the middle of the night, I will go in my sanctuary and pray. But this particular day I just tossed and turned for over an hour. Finally I picked up my cell phone to see if I had any missed calls. Lord and behold, I had ten missed calls and it was all from Nigeria. I ran into my sister's room to get a calling card . I called home and when my sister picked up the phone, the first thing I asked was, 'how is Dad?' She told me to hold on and gave the phone to my brother. When my brother came on the phone, I asked him if my Dad was dead, he just blurted out that we lost him. My Father had died from complications of diabetes and prostrate cancer. It was painful to hear that such a strong man could crumble under this horrible disease, but you can't fight fate. What is done is done. You can't change it, and there is nothing you can do to reconcile it except to find some peace within yourself. But also there was fear mixed with confusion.
My Dad is Chief S S Anosike, affectionately known as "WAR" to a lot of my friends. My Dad was a good man. Not a perfect man. Kindness was his calling card to everyone around him. Surely I can talk about some of his past mistakes, but no one is perfect, and such seems trivial now. However, inside, my father was very sensitive, very caring, always helpful.
During my childhood, my father worked constantly, We hardly saw him. He had a passion for life, both in business and his family. When I look at my life I see that a lot of him is in me and that is what I need to carry on. If you had met my father, you would say that he was loving, caring, a good father, strong, intelligent and a hard worker. He was a wonderful Father and I remember many fond memories. The things I remember the most is how he used to sit us down every Sunday and cut our nails when we were little. He used to let me use whatever car I wanted. I remember how I used to write him from school and tell him what driver and car that I wanted to pick me up from school, and I always got it. He always made sure that his family was provided for. Through the happiest of times to the saddest times I know that I can always call him to rescue me. I thank him for everything he ever did in my life whether I liked it or not... I learned and he did teach me a lot.
I will always treasure the last few years of his life. We became especially close, The last time I saw my father he left me with a memory that will stay with me forever. My greatest pleasure was going shopping with him, going to the doctor, discussing with him politics, business; he was versed in everything. I spent a lot of time with him, talking about business, politics, going to the doctor, shopping. I will forever remain grateful for this very precious time that we were able to share. And then we had a big argument , until then, nobody in my family had found the courage to speak honestly and directly with my father, and I had to be the one to change it. By telling my father how I experienced our relationship growing up, I thought that I was risking what little connection I had with my father, but instead it made our relationship grow stronger and a whole lot more realistic. The day before he left I came into the room and asked him to bless us before leaving, not knowing that will be the last time that I will see him. My father broke the silence by giving me what would become my "blessing." He prayed for me, my sister and my niece, and he also prayed for his children that were not there. I feel fortunate to have had the opportunity to ask for my father's blessing.
When he went back to Nigeria, I called him every week and if he didn't hear from me he will tell my sister to call and check if I was ok. I do regret the fact that I was not there to take care of him in his last days. But even in his last days he was still worried about me. I could not ask for a more caring father who bestowed upon me the capacity to learn, reach, and grow; traits that will hopefully result in my own legacy.
May your soul rest in Peace. Amen.
Ezi
A TRIBUTE TO MY FATHER BY UCHECHI
My father “fondly” known as ‘War’ was one of the best fathers ever to walk this earth. I believe in the adage that you don’t know what you have until you lose it. I have heard people talk about their fathers and that was when I began to realize what a great asset we had in our father. As kids we hated the disciplinarian he was but as I grew up and came to know the Lord, I realized that every chastisement from him was out of love, just like God chastises us when we stray because He loves us and because He wants us to learn from our mistakes. My father loved his children. He will cry at the drop of a heart if any of us got sick. He never denied us anything that was to our ultimate good. I can rightly say that we were pampered because we never lacked for what we needed. He always provided. He took his role as a father seriously. He used to tell us that he was the heavenly father we can see physically on this earth, and he was right. He tried to fight our demons for us and if he could help it, would have been there all the time to make sure we never made any wrong moves. He was the epitome of fatherly love. My brothers did stuff that some fathers would have found so hard to forgive, but he forgave all that and still loved them the same. He was not known for his hugs and kisses because he was not raised that way, but we never doubted his love. A father is someone who is always there for you, provides and protects his family, chastises you because he wants what’s best for you, gives you honest advise whether you like it or not because he cares. That was my father. An honest man, full of integrity, never coveted what was not his but rather worked hard and strived until he attained the level of success he did. He made it from scratch with determination and a will to succeed. He believed that if you worked hard enough and saved some of what you achieve through that hard work, you will make it in life. My father left a legacy I really didn’t acknowledge until I lost him and then I sat back and looked at the life of this man who gave me life and its richness. I looked at his achievements and his generosity and I asked God to please give me a chance to be half the woman my father was because this is a man that will be remembered for years to come because he gave a lot of himself for the good of others. I can never put into words how much my father means to me because there won’t be enough space. But when I remember him, I think of my heavenly father, so full of love, so generous, quick to forgive, always there if you wanted advice, even though being human, he will judge sometimes but he never let our mistakes color or change his love for us. And I believe that was why God blessed him with the most wonderful woman ever to walk this earth because he found him deserving. I will miss you Pa, but you will never be forgotten because when we thought you didn’t care because you chastised us, it was because we didn’t know any better, but as I grew older, I realized you did everything you did because you loved me and I will forever be grateful to God for blessing me with a father like you. May you continue to rest in the God’s bosom.